Every January 1st, I used to write a list with my New Year’s resolutions. Then I realized it would be self-inflicted emotional abuse to do it again.
Having figured out that those lists wouldn’t help me score points to measure the success of my year, and that I would always begin the diet “next Monday,” I began focusing on one thing only: get one diploma. Which has always worked.
But this year, attending “Life” class was quite challenging (I am being so kind with the Universe right now). So, I couldn’t get a diploma to pet my self-esteem.
And given that the latter is crucial for my survival, I thought about listing the things I’ve learned.
Now, as you are reading my list and if you are currently experiencing “self-esteem petting’s” depravation, think that you’ll score one more point with each thing you didn’t know. (You are welcome)
1. In my thirties, when I thought I was fat and wanted to be beautiful, I was wrong. (Personal discovery. But still, it counts. Right?)
2. When we are so close to another living being that we feel we are one and that we can read each other’s thoughts, it’s true. Science says so.
Sneak peek: “Dr. Neil Theise: Overcome the Illusion of Separation” at Mayim Bialik’s podcast on YouTube.
3. Honey is very tasty indeed. Don’t fuck it up by saving it in the fridge.
4. We can feel happier simply by putting a pencil between our teeth and holding it for 45 to 90 seconds. Science fact!
(Sneak Peek: This was discovered in the 1800s by a french anatomist, Duchenne de Boulogne. Turns out that when we smile, some facial muscles tell our brain that we are happy. Cool, huh? Google the “Duchenne Smile” for more.)
5. When life seems it couldn’t get worse, it can, and I will survive. Life is hard and it gets harder but simpler as we grow.
Read More: knock yourself out with the whole blog.
6. Double check. Triple check. Everything. Seriously.
7. A bag of potting soil contains dirt plus shit. Don’t open it without a mask nor put your hands in the bag without gloves. Because you’ll be picking up shit. And it smells like shit.
8. Visualization is not about believing something, picturing it and all that jazz, so that the Universe will drop what we want on our laps. It’s about science.
(This made me a little bit sad because, “boohoo, no magic. I’m alone in this.” But! It works, and it does it because our brains cannot distinguish our lies. Basically, if we feel and visualize we are green, our brain will believe it. And then, it will makes us see ‘signs’ so that we can do things to become green.
Sneak Peek: “The Power Of Visualization And How To Use It” @ Forbes; and an article on the science behind it “The Science of Visualization: How to Encourage Positive Thinking and Goal Achievement“.)
9. Trauma changes the chemistry of the brain, and healing from trauma changes it again. As a result, how we perceive things (even noises and smells) will be different.
Experiencing that change can make you feel you’re losing your mind. Knowing the science behind it, will help you to chill … and also make you feel the Dalai Lama should book an appointment with you.
Read more: Hello, I Am Grieving the Loss of My Cat
10. The purpose of life is not to learn, be a freaking hero or change the world. We are here to be happy. (On the path to happiness we might change the world, but this is not the goal. We are here, simply, to experience happiness.)
(Finding out about this – at a course I’m taking at freaking Harvard on Happiness – after having built my life around the “survivor”‘s speech, made me feel a little bit robbed… by my mind, not Harvard. Harvard is great.)
There!
What a successful year I had!
How about you?
